Black History Month 2020 Reflection

This Black History Month has been full.  As you well know- I am (we are) #Black365, but it is a time where we can reflect and share the amazing strides, stories, inventions, legacies, ancestral pathways, and connections of our people.  It is also a time where many find opportunity to speak out against injustices, which occur on a daily basis—not just during Black History month. 

As you know, earlier this month, Lodz Joseph, a CNM friend and colleague, and I released our ‘Open Letter from Two Black Midwives’ (the link to this letter can be found in the previous post). The support from you all and that came after sharing this letter has been incredible.  Thank you so much! We could not feel more loved and inspired to do more work to improve Black outcomes as well as create space for more diversity within midwifery and our world. Just as much as there is support, there have been some ‘set backs’—currently, I don’t have capacity to share, nor will I honor any disrespect or lack of understanding. What I realized the most, however, is that I was preparing for more ‘negativity’ than I was positivity. Don’t get me wrong, preparation for various responses can be helpful, but I came to terms with the fact that sometimes as a Black individual, I expect for my work, what I have built, and what I have to say to be torn down. This is from life and community experience as well as observation. 

In a recent post, I mentioned how I want the confidence of a young Black girl before it’s taken from her (a discovery I made in therapy). Maybe she is bold, fearless, sassy, most certainly confident, yet still a child, and has the innocence of such—believing that she is important, valued, and can make an impact in her surrounding environment. Through protection of our hearts (and bodies) and realizing that the world we ACTUALLY live in does not support the child-like nature of a young black girl, often times parents/guardians and family, subconsciously suppress these blossoming traits. I can even pinpoint a few moments in my life where I was ‘protectively silenced’ by various people. Good intentions, lasting effects. The ramifications of that are now evident in various aspects of my life. I’m working to heal and grow from it and using my own history and ‘black girl confidence/magic’, to build a better version of Black grown woman me. 

So I leave this with you from this month of fullness: when you wake in the morning, if you’re not already doing so, look yourself in the mirror. Take the time to discover who you are. Boost yourself and have a hard look. Shape the confidence. Be brave. Sit with your emotions of the day as well; it’s ok to be however you are. Reflect on what you’ve learned that’s new. Remove the layer of protection and lean into the light that is in you—what was once there when you were fearless and believed in yourself.

It doesn’t have to be your past, it can be your now and your future.

Start looking at who is in front of you.