Our Future, Their Bodies
What do you tell a group of 12-16 year old black girls about vaginas, sex and periods? Well—EVERYTHING! And the truth.
This is what I was able to do last weekend with the young ladies of Mocha Academy. Mocha Academy is a community based mentoring program for girls of color grades 6-12 local to my community. The takeaway that I got from the program is that this environment will foster young girls of color, providing them with power for their futures. Their meeting began with reading affirmations and positive ‘I am’ prompts. I couldn’t help but think that this program offers so much that our young black girls need and often do not hear.
To be honest, I wasn’t sure quite what to expect when I was asked to speak with the girls. It’s been awhile since I’ve interacted with a large group of young girls all at once. I used to be a camp counselor in my 20s and led some church groups for young children when I was in college and fared pretty well. But when it comes to the girls who I feel most need support, who are not believed and made to seem ‘too grown’ for their age, I wanted to be relatable and impactful. I wanted them to take away gems that will stick with them for life. I want them to be strong in learning who they are and believing that they possess everything they need. Most of all I want them to have the correct information as they broach a world that sometimes isn’t the most honest with them.
As expected when I shared the topics for discussion, there was an assortment of reactions—from giggles to obvious embarrassment to seeming disinterest. But it felt ok. As I introduced myself and began asking questions of them to engage—‘what do you know about vaginas, how do we keep them healthy?’—I said something that left me feeling chills (one of those weird out-of-body experiences that you know comes from another place). I said ‘this is your body, it’s important to know what it does and how it functions, what it likes and what it doesn’t like and you need to know the power you hold because you have a vagina and because of who you are’. The moment felt surreal. These are the concepts that are most critical for young black girls to understand because of the community we live in but also, they are statements that I think can have an impact on my generation as well.
With that, we dove into topics like period products, the anatomy of the vagina/uterus/cervix, STDs and protection, pap smear basics, and even the taboo topic that we were told to avoid—anal sex. But because they asked, I wanted to honor their time and interest. Whew! Help us baby Jesus! What I vowed to myself on a whole and particularly in this space was, to be honest, so before proceeding in answering the questions I made sure it was ok with one of the program leaders. I was given the green light and we dabbled a little bit in the topic. The beauty in spaces like this is the parents know what topics will be addressed and how far content may go and still allowed their children to show up—which speaks volumes.
As is predictable, I went over my time (y’all know I can be long-winded and I am ok with that). We had such a good time and dialogue that I will be back to continue the conversation. I am so proud that there is this particular place for these young women of color; a place for their magic to evolve, their minds to be challenged, opportunities to be mentored, and a chance for their hearts to be nurtured.
We need more opportunities like this. If you know of something local, see how you can be involved, share information, help, and provide resources as needed. If you don’t see anything in your area, I hope that this inspires you to create and collaborate, if even once, for the community that needs it. Let our young people, our future know they are needed, wanted, and full of power that will carry us for the years to come.
