The Many Ponderings and Revelations of June
Yup. We are still here in 2020. At times it’s hard to believe. Between seeing folks who typically remain quiet stand up and even protest with and for Black lives to the lynching that continues to happen nationwide (and continuously passed off as ‘suicides’), it truly is like a twilight zone.
There are statements coming from large organizations about their support of Black Lives, some with real action plans and others just to save face. I think many Black folks are not used to so much support. We are used to hearing that ‘we matter’ but the actions of others strongly suggesting something different. I personally am waiting for it to get ‘quiet’ again—you know, the phase where folks ‘forget’ they ever really stood up for us in the first place. This is constantly our reality when support is shown. It is awesome to see some people take our issues so seriously, but as America historically goes, this may not last for long. I do wonder if they (including some of you) will continue to support us.
And as we watch continued injustices unfold, there is still much to be said about the global pandemic of the Coronavirus. In the healthcare world, we are still learning about COVID19 and its impacts on health, as well as how it impacts the care we provide. We are seeing more surges in COVID cases as communities and cities ‘reopen’ for business—not with our safety in mind. [Side note: y’all, this is real. The numbers are climbing again. Please be careful!] All of this continues while Black healthcare professionals must answer questions about COVID and also questions surrounding Black Lives or perhaps the lack thereof. Sometimes the population we serve and work with does not believe in anti-racist work or support Black people. And while it may appear that these actions and conversations or lack thereof go unnoticed, they do not. Trust me on this.
What I have been faced with of late is ‘how do I sustain my peace, health, and boundaries in a setting and world that may not fully support me as a human, a Black person, a Black woman, and Black midwife?’ I don’t think there is one perfect answer for this. It is fluid and it looks different for all of us. Some things that have sustained me: regular and emergency therapy sessions, discussion and connection with Black friends and family, focusing on my breath, stretching, laughter, speaking out and calling in on my platform, supporting others who are doing the work, saying no to things that do not make me feel good, letting folks know I am at capacity, affirmations, breaking from social media, planning for my future, a few guilty pleasure TV shows, and sleep when I’m able. I will also say utilizing a mental health day is also part of this. Many of us suffer from guilt surrounding this method of care but in order to continue our best work, we must take care of ourselves, without shame! It is definitely something I am learning as I go along.
Listen, there is no perfect formula for the time that we live in. And being hard on ourselves does not aid with progression. Find a rhythm that works for you, and when it no longer serves you, try something else. Things may not improve for a while and it is important to build healthy foundations that allow you to be your best self and continue to do your best.
