Where You've Been & Where You're Going
Sometimes midwifery looks like this picture: solo car in the parking lot or on the street with only the light from the post allowing visibility.
This actual photo was taken several years ago while I was in midwifery school. In addition to full-time school, I still worked a ‘swing shift’ from 11a-1130p. This often meant that I stayed at work or clocked out a little past midnight. Usually, I would get home and get settled knowing that I had a full day of class or clinical time the next morning. I commuted to midwifery school and while the school was estimated to be about a 45-minute drive, I could bank on 1.5-2 hours worth of driving (thanks SoCal traffic). I think I averaged about 4-5 hours of sleep when my schedule was like this. Heading out to that parking lot at night sometimes was my time to debrief from a crazy day, a moment to think about tasks for the next day, or sometimes just the realization that I was in complete ‘hustle mode’.
This is not a sorry or sad excuse for my routine at that time. It’s simply a reminder of the sacrifice for a short period of time. I knew that this situation would not be this way forever but that it was one portion of the systems and steps necessary to get me to my end goal of becoming a midwife.
This week I have had a few conversations that reminded me of this photo. Here are some of the big takeaways:
1-Midwifery is what YOU make of it. It can look like how you want it to look and does not have to be solely what you are told it ‘should’ look like. I’d like to thank some close midwife friends and mentors for the reminders. Also, this applies to nearly every career path out there and in life: it is what you make it…so make it yours!
2-The sacrifices that we make for our dreams and goals do not have to last forever but they do provide a means for our journey. Don’t forget what you had to give up or commit to in order to get to where you are. Also, it’s good to look back sometimes and see where you were and how you got to where you are.
3-Lastly, it may seem as if when you are pursuing these dreams that you are alone. You are not. I want you to remember the light. There are some moments of hope, a second or experience that radiates and reminds you why you are doing what you are doing. Remember there are others going through the process just like you—may be slightly different but for similar outcomes. You are not alone.
Who knew a photo of my car in the lot all solo-dolo would provoke so much thought? I hope these reminders either carry you in the weeks ahead or remind you of the journey to where you are now.
